Bovine's gone wild!

WHERE'S MY F(*#&ING STAPLER!
:: As you work in your office, a chair at the desk next to you spins around full circle. In mid spin, as the chair’s back is to you, a small explosion of mist occurs in the chair. As the chair finishes its spin, Cow's there, sitting in the chair... ::

Cow:

THAT F#$@ING PECKER STOLE MY STAPLER!

Here let me show you...

:: He scoots his chair close to you. Then with a smile and a wink, he head butts you. You swear loudly and rub your head as your vision slowly clears. Able to see again, you look about you. You see an office setting much like your own, except for a few differences. One big difference you notice is that everything seems washed out, as if in a dream. You continue to look about the office before spotting Cow working in a cubical. It suddenly dawns on you that someone besides Cow may have heard your prior outburst. Yet, after a few tries of talking, yelling, and even punching Cow you realize that you’re only in this washed out reality as a spectator. This must be what Cow meant when he talked about showing you something. With nothing else to do, you find a place to sit near Cow and watch him work. A couple minutes go by before an eerie noise causes you to look up. From down the hallway floats a chicken wearing all black. Black shirt, black pants, black cloak, and even a black mask that covers the area around and between his eyes. You continue to watch this mysterious chicken as he floats up to Cow's cubical. Without looking up, Cow states... ::

Cow:

Moo. Fry, I know your standing there. I heard you coming down the hallway. I even heard you getting off the elevator. So your stealthy skills suck. Also, before you begin spewing forth whatever chicken s*$% you feel the need to grace me with, get off the d@&$ skateboard before you slip and fall. Knowing my luck, I’d be the lucky one chosen to fill out the paperwork. Besides, everyone knows your not actually floating.

:: Cow looks over the edge of his desk to the bottom of Fry's cloak. ::

See, right there! You can see it sticking out the back of your cloak!

Fry:

:: Fry quickly shifts his cloak to cover the skateboard. ::

Do not trifle with powers your primitive bovine brain cannot comprehend.

Cow:

:: Cow sighs and goes back to working. ::

Whatever. Hey! I’ve got a great idea. Why don't you go dash halfway across the road during the lunch hour traffic rush?

Fry:

:: Red glowing light shines from behind Fry as he does the point of doom at Cow. ::

You best apologize for that before you feel my ultimate power.

Cow:

:: Cow spins around in his chair. Reaching down near the floor, he yanks a cord, unplugging Fry’s light. Next, he moves a fan in front of Fry and flips it on. As Cow turns back to his computer to work, Fry starts rolling backwards. Feeling himself moving, Fry reaches out and grabs hold of the edge of Cow's desk. ::

Hmm, promises, promises. Fry, as much as I am for feeling your ultimate power, I think you over estimate yourself. You see, I was talking to Holly the other day and she was telling me all about your ultimate power, or rather, lack there of.

Fry:

LIES! ALL LIES!

Cow:

Uh huh, sure whatever you say feather duster.

:: Cow leans over flipping the fan up to medium. Fry continues to struggle, gripping harder onto the desk. ::

Fry:

:: Fry smiles evilly. ::

Anyway, rump roast, I came to let you know that Totas wants to see you. Something about your time card?

Cow:

F#$&!

:: Cow rubs his temples. Looking over, he realizes the Dark Lord of the Feather is still hanging onto the edge of his desk. With a smile, he then flips the fan to high. Then he gives a little wave as Fry rolls back towards the elevator. ::

Fry:

You may have won this round, beef brain! But I still will borrow your...

:: Fry scans Cow’s desk. ::

STAPLER!

:: As he rolls backward, he reaches out with an extend-a-reach claw and grabs Cow's stapler. He continues his backward roll, laughing maniacally. ::

BEHOLD! My power allows me to grab your precious stapler from across the room and float it to my waiting hand!

Cow:

:: Cow bolts to the edge of his desk, poking his head out into the hallway. ::

YOU F*&#ING BIRDBRAIN, EVERYONE SAW IT WAS AN EXTEND-A-REACH CLAW, NOT ANY SPECIAL JEDI POWERS!

:: Cow sits back down and takes a few deep breaths. No longer pissed, he pushes a button on his computer and it transforms from a Macintosh computer into a skunk. The skunk swishes his tail before looking up at him. ::

Spray, looks like I'll be tied up for a while dealing with Totas. While I'm gone resume your mission to convert any PCs on the floor over to MACs.

Spray:

I hear and obey!

:: Cow gets up and makes his way to the elevator. As he walks off, he hears Spray scampering off about his mission. ::

…

:: A voice beside you, causes you to turn. You look to see a non-washed out version of Cow sitting there. ::

Cow:

See what'd I tell you? Not to mention a total a@#! Oh well time to get back...

:: With a smile, Cow head butts you, again. This time, you let out a much more colorful exclamation. You wait for your vision to clear before looking around. It’s then that recognition dawns and you realize you’re back in your own office. Looking over to the chair where Cow was sitting, you now see nothing left but a few cow colored feathers. You give a shrug, rub your forehead a bit, and then return to your day. ::

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